Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Who Sleeps On Christmas Eve Anyway?

Just a little something I've had lurking on the hard drive for quite a while. I tend to forget about it until after the holidays are over, and I'm not much of a poet anyway, so I figured I might as well throw it on here.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas.

All I Want
Didn’t mean to kill the fat man but couldn’t stop in time

Thought him some drunk reveler - a little too much wine

Or (because he wore the beard and suit) sloshed on too much nog

Regardless which I hit him soundly he fell just like a log

Then left me puzzled by his smile; an odd thing on his lips

Bleeding out upon the street, body twisted ‘round his hips

Sprawled upon new-fallen snow saw his life slip past

Pale white skin and crimson stains: red and white of Christmas

I remember idly wondering where he’d left his sleigh

Before the sound of jingle bells chased idle thoughts away

Less over river through the woods, more of string at grave

Pulled upon unceasingly yet no one there to save,

Nothing tiny about reindeer - certainly not eight, no

(Eight, not nine – no shiny nose though weirdness even so)

Asking ‘self which suburbanite took trimmings just too far

Someone’s warped idea of festive traipsing round my car

With flinty hooves and antlers now herding me instead

Keeping me beside the body and filling me with dread

Dead Santa’s belly all a-quivering; no bowl of jelly here

Instead see hordes of chitinous things; skin crawls with more than fear.

The suit’s alive though tattered felt, fur trim stained and dusty

Smells of things best buried wet, left damp and slightly musty

It crawls and creeps and so does come in part by no small measure

With clicking claws and creeping tendrils my warm body it does treasure

A sentient thing through and through no errant garland ‘neath the tree

This things snakes itself around my foot to wrap and bind and snare me.

A beard sprouts, itchy with new growth and biting little fleas

A tangled mass of grey that threatens to stifle, smother me

Wide belt cinches, things pool around my gut latching to my sides

Try not to think of scarab eyes and things that like to dig inside

No reindeer games this night, their antlers prod and goad

Promising to gore and skewer should I head for the road

From shadows, elves with sharkish teeth in twisted wicked grins

Yellowed claws go snicker-snack sink into my skin

All pointy hats and pointy faces and pointy teeth that gnash

They drag me over to the sleigh, my hands to reins they lash

Soon enough it’s plain to see why my predecessor ran

Took off in haste, and seized his chance; knew dying’s better than

Being forced all night to fly around and go from house to house

By creatures, stirring, all foul intent with the quiet of a mouse.

At each new home they enter in, wee ones to spy upon

Things to leave to break and splinter, no joy to greet the dawn.

Toys to them just a foul pursuit dark things to fill a sack

It’s the screams of little children which keep them coming back

So they plunged me into the role to soar at dizzying height

As icy cold and frost and wind prolong unending night.

This Santa doesn’t “ho ho ho;” I’ve no reason to be merry.

It’s lack of air and gasping breath turns face red like a cherry.

You see all I want for Christmas is to escape what lies for me;

What waits there frozen at the pole, new horrors there shall be.

Instead I wait while evil gnomes crawl past sleeping heads

Intent on leaving some new thing to torment those in beds.

Left hoping the sleigh takes turns too sharp and I fall upon some spire

Or failing that, to hurl myself down in where chimneys promise fire.

So if by chance you see me soon on corner street or mall

You’d best stay off of Santa’s lap, heed not the siren call

Tuck tight your children on Christmas Eve, don’t let your small ones wake

In hopes that they might glimpse a Santa that’s no fake.

For this is no jolly elf they’ll see (though them you need not tell)

Just only me locked inside the suit and a cold unending hell.